Truer words haven't been spoken...

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what others think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes."

~ Charles R. Swindoll

Reflection

I have been thinking a lot lately about 2010 and the wild ride it has been. I have been thinking about how it has been both wonderful and terrible. I have been thinking about how lucky we are and how grateful I am to so many. I want to reflect on this a little here as the final hours of 2010 tick away.
Our families have been invaluable over the course of this journey. When we needed them, they jumped in and did what was asked without question. Our mothers took over our household while I was in the hospital - my mother-in-law was here for nearly six weeks. They dropped their own lives to help us with ours and things would have been absolute chaos without that.
Our friends, both near and far, have offered help whenever possible and have understood when I didn't have the time, energy or, in the case of the early days, wherewithal to be a good friend myself. I am sorry for my seeming laziness when it comes to our friendships and I promise that, as things calm down (which they already are) and I start getting more sleep (not really on the horizon yet), I will rekindle our relationships.
My babies have been so incredibly tolerant. I have not been the parent I want to be in recent months. This is changing on a daily basis, but I appreciate that the little people in my life are understanding and patient.
The hospital staff, the NICU nurses and our doctors (both on-site and at the IWK) have been SO supportive. I have tried dozens of times to write a letter, expressing my gratitude, but I can never find the right words. I am aware that my living in the NICU was unorthodox and I imagine that it was not ideal for the nurses who work there. They went out of their way to not only get my son healthy, but also to keep me well-fed, well-rested (as can be expected) and emotionally-well. Their dedication to us and to all of the families who passed through their sanctuary was inspiring and we will never forget it. Everyone else, from the doctors to the toll-booth attendants (who never commented on my tears and made a point of making me laugh whenever possible) made an impact on me.
My husband is second to none. Relationships have been strained to the point of breaking by lesser stressors than we've experienced and somehow, we are still here. I have seen sides of him that I didn't even know existed over the course of the past year. He has done his best to calm me when I was pulling my own hair out over Orin's health, my own lack of sleep, Isabel's behaviour or the state of the house. He has taken on huge responsibility in our household due to my simply being unable to manage as much as I once could. He has taken on the challenges we've faced with strength and grace and he has helped me to do the same. I am eternally grateful to have such a teammate in parenting and partner in life.

The Bucket List

Inspired by my friend wildmudturtle's post about her 40 Before 40, I am going to post my Bucket List. It was a 40 Before 40 until very recently, but it started to get big and unwieldy, so I decided to tweak the list and make it a Bucket List. It also seemed sensible since, at nearly 32, I have two very small children and expect to be dedicating a lot of my 30s to raising them and doing family things (not to the exclusion of doing things for me, but I think balanced moms understand what I mean). Without further ado, here's an edited version of my list. Why edited, you ask? Because a few things are a little too private to be shared with the whole of the interwebz. ;) That said, there were only a couple removed and the bolded ones are ones I've completed. Enjoy :)

♦ Get Master’s
♦ Choose a topic and seriously consider PhD
♦ See the pyramids
♦ Tour Europe by train with the kids as teenagers
♦ See Auschwitz
♦ Look into requirements for becoming a lactation consultant or baby-wearing educator
♦ Relax on a terrace in Florence, Italy with a cup of cappuccino and some pastry
♦ Camp through the Rocky Mountains
♦ Roadtrip across Canada
♦ Go to NYC with girlfriends
♦ Go to Disney World
♦ Learn to play violin/fiddle
♦ Learn to speak Mandarin Chinese
♦ Perform a non-chorus role in a musical production
♦ Learn to run and run a 1/2 marathon
♦ Scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
♦ Go skydiving
♦ Make a piece of clothing
♦ Go whale watching
♦ Learn a style of Latin dance
♦ Make a pie from scratch
♦ Keep a saltwater fish tank
♦ Have a Nova Scotia Duck Toller
♦ Learn to ski
♦ Get phoenix tattoo
♦ Go horseback riding
♦ Take the kids scavenging for fossils in Pugwash
♦ Participate in the Amazing Race (or something similar)
♦ Own one really nice dress or suit
♦ Get my driver’s license
♦ Get jaw surgery & braces (in progress)
♦ Design a distance education course in Advanced Literature (Children’s or WWII)
♦ Try a year or two in a district/department position
♦ Write an short story and have it published
♦ Build a Habitat for Humanity house
♦ Take a photography course
♦ Have a hedgehog
♦ Drive a convertible roadster
♦ Go White water rafting
♦ Shop at a bazaar in a foreign country