Project 365 - January 31st & Attn: Fredericton Drivers

Another combo post!! Aren't you lucky!!

So with my being on maternity leave for a year, very seldom did I have to drive during peak hours, so I didn't deal with other drivers in nearly the quantity I do while working. Remembering the joy of dealing with other drivers was an unexpected "perk" of my return to work today. As a direct result of my recent dealings with my fellow motorists, I have developed this far-from-exhaustive list of requests and suggestions for my friends behind their respective wheels.

• You see that little stick jutting out from the left side of your steering column? When you flick it up or down, lights on the front and back of your vehicle flash, indicating that you will be turning. I know that you've been advised of this little tidbit before, because, as a child, I heard my mother teach a similar lesson, using somewhat more colourful language.
  
  
• Right-of-way is your friend. It prevents accidents and keeps traffic flowing. Learn it, love it. By the way, just because you are turning left does not mean you have to wait for all of the other traffic at the four-way stop to clear out before going. Just sayin'.
  
  
• And while I appreciate your attempts to recreate your childhood dream of joining the circus as a tight-rope walker, I would appreciate it if you didn't straddle the white line into my lane while living out your imaginings. You use your lane; I'll use mine and we'll all get where we are going without my needing to hire the team from CSI to hunt you down through analysis of the paint transfer left behind after you side-swipe me in your ugly taupe car.
  
  
• If you can't park, you can't drive. I think this is reasonable. No matter how amazing you are at conducting your vehicle, if you can't manage to leave it somewhere in a sensible and respectful fashion, the fact that you can get it there is a moot point. I'm talking to you Mr.I-drive-a-GIANT-Hemi-powered-pickup-so-I-can-park-across-as-many-parking-spots-as-I-want. Those of us who had to drive around for approximately ten minutes in order to find a spot in the movie theatre parking lot salute you and your douchebaggery.
  
  
• Finally, you may be following too close if I can't see your headlights in my rearview mirror, but I can see you picking your nose, despite it being dark out.